This celebrity #MeToo comment on #HW saga is wrong. Not because it is not about power but because sexuality is about power, existentially speaking. It is always about domination and supplication until sex is in the middle, between them. Even otherwise dominating or subservient characters would end up playing their respective roles as master and slave, perhaps alternately, while they couple with sex in their eyes.
People might have legitimate romantic notions of approaching each other sexually in the flow of deep goodwill and love, after interacting with dilated intimacy, understanding and feeling of togetherness, but that flow does not become an overpowering need without wanting something from the other for oneself. It is no longer the want for the other person, as one might have felt in the flow, but for something that the person must yield to the other. Nothing changes in the best of concurrent circumstance, when the wanting is equally intense in both. Right then, it is that respective something wanted by each from the other that is of utmost value to them individually, overriding the personal respect and regard the best of lovers would otherwise have for each other.
Things worsen if the players get too involved with their drive for that “something from the other.” Then, it launches the existential self onto an overdrive, charged with superior notions about oneself, or into a relentless act of burrowing to compensate for their accumulated sense of inadequacy and dissatisfaction. They both bring out the worst manifestation of power into the sexual act. Which is why and how the sexual relation comes to be defined by the overt display of power in one and of subservience or rebellious agony in the other.
The evolved form of the play does not descend into sexual considerations at all, as it is in the drive of wanting for something from the other. It could continue interactively even through the physical exploring, and the act if invitational, marked by ever present readiness to stop and revert away from the body. Such evolved beings are scarce; hence, such loving is practically unheard of. Above all, it has no reason to be in the news.
If only people understood their selves… Sex does not respect the person. It values something that the person is known or presumed to have, which what the other seeks to to obtain, with that intense expectation that the person would yield.