My life is over.
As in, my interaction with world, with my body, vitality and mind, and with my intellect, is complete. It arrived with the notion that I have done and been what I had to… have seen, felt and known what I had to.
There is little mystery in what I state. Though I can understand if you feel there is one. In fact, I do appreciate the whole range of emotions, including disbelief and animosity, that my statement might evoke as you read this. Perhaps you are old, in age. But the reaction I may most appreciate, would even be glad to have caused, is surprise… among youngsters who’ve just looked over their fence and are struck by the difference in what they see and what they’ve just heard !
This sense of mystery, or the viscous swirl in your heart which emotions cause, is only until you’ve known your own utter futility alongwith the beauty your life has been. And that’s important… the beauty in your eye while you look upon yourself.
That is when you know all life, all being, all emotion and all that which they lead up to… because you’ve known yourself. No worries but, your assets in the bank are safe and the liability of enabling your children as they grow up remains squarely upon you !
* * *
Dev Anand is dead. He was an actor of much repute. The man was 88 years of years of age. And he died in his boots, as it were.
Now there isn’t anything you can speak of the man. He himself has said a lot, and people… a few try but most merely delve, discover the words, and parrot with some passion, and particular seriousness.
He was forever devouring life. But life ate him up.
There are others on the stage !
* * *
I’ve written some. It’s spread out online. But it was mixed with other, non-writing, passions. They mean nothing now.
I hope to update this journal everyday. It might seem intense.